Now that I've found you

Hello again, hive.

I know, I know.

I hit my writing vibe and stride once again and then I disappear.

Well, as I am sure most of you know, a lot has happened.

The days since July 25th have been an absolute whirlwind. I have not blogged about it but I have posted and expressed my utmost gratitude to our membership for putting their faith behind me to lead our Union into the future and to fix the wrongs, finally.

I am not sure I have come to terms with it, still.

But I am forever grateful.

I am grateful for those who helped me during my campaign, those who have always stood by me and helped, those who have taught me many lessons in this industry, and those who marked their X next to my name whether they knew me or had worked with me in these last 10 years.

So grateful.

These last 2.5 years have been utter misery but, I will be the first to admit, out of great tragedy is often forged a newfound hardiness, an armour, an ability to take a bullet and ask this universe, "Is that all you have?"

And, finally, though I had felt so defeated not so long ago and felt like all I had worked for and built up to then was for naught, there came a time a few short months ago when I woke up and realized the old person I had been was now dead.

And that was a good thing.

Who emerged out of that haze of smoke and debris was someone who could take a punch and still be left standing.

And at the same time, there he came.

"I'll take an ocean in my stride,
Steal the stars and hitch a ride,
To your door..."

I look back on what were 42 years of my life now, years of necessity and hard work, years of creation, destruction and rebuilding, and I ask how I ever did any of it without him.

Though I truly believe life is all a matter of timing and circumstance.

"And time builds a bridge through our bloodlines,
From the roots, we'll watch love rise,
Heaven knows how it grows..."

And it did.

Out of friendship, hardship, leaning on each other, life circumstance and learning to live again.

I realize now how much I have always cared about him and how important he was to me. Always genuine, caring, honest, open, a safe place.

Always.

And how I had always wanted to be the same for him, though back then he was just the beautiful friend with the kind heart who I felt so lucky to have in my life.

"I'll be branch that breaks your fall,
If you need me, make the call
I'll be there..."

I remember thinking one night how lucky the woman would be who got to love him. Never once did I think it could ever be me.

But here we are, and my life, the life that has come out of the damage and destruction, is more than I could have ever hoped or wished for.

Watching our favourite musicians, laughing, smiling, work dinners, phone calls, texts through the day and night, sleepy wake ups and shooting shit over breakfast - the things I never thought I would do.

I will not say "again," because these are things I never did. This has been, and continues to be, such an incredible thing.

And I am still in awe at every day.

"And I know it's late for lullabies,
But the future's yours and mine,
Now and for evermore..."

I find myself looking into the future now, each and every day, at what we have to look forward to - the exciting, the wild, also the mundane.

And every single day holds so much promise and growth.

My life - this collection of remnants of the before - is not the dread and lack of future I had anticipated; it is a timeline of promise, of beauty, of excitement - of love.

To resort to an old cliche, maybe love truly does set us free.

"Now that I've found you,
Now that I've found you,
I won't let go..."

I won't. There are days when I just cannot hold him tight enough because I know how lucky I am, how rare he is, how easily those special people can be ripped from your life in one fell swoop.

And so I hope I can show him every single day how much he is loved and appreciated for everything he is and everything he does.

"Let my love surround you,
Now that I've found you,
I can lay down with my ghost..."

The ghost of that person who I was.

I can finally be at peace with her, now.

I am not dismissing who she was or the work she put in.

But I love who I am now and what my life is.

Here we go.

"Now that I've found you, don't go..."