Monday, September 17, 2018

Believe her.

Hello, bloggerverse. It's been a while.

I have been generally quiet and just trying to enjoy things, cut the bullshit and rage-inducing things out of my life and drop the blood pressure to a normal level.

But, buddy I AM FIRED UP NOW.

If you have been following the Coronation of Kavanaugh to a lifetime seat in the United States of America's highest court, and the recent allegations brought forward by Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, you should be too.

In an anonymous letter to Senator Feinstein, Dr. Blasey Ford (who has since stepped forward to attach her name to the piece) described a sexual attack Trump's heir to the justice throne perpetuated on her then-15 year old self. He was 17.

He pinned her down.
Tried to rip her clothes off.
His friend watched.
Cheered him on.
Hopped on to join.
Turned up the music when BK's hand was not enough to muffle her screams.

Dr. Blasey Ford also spoke to her therapist about the attack in 2012 and the lasting effects it has had on her life.

So, of course, the MAGA kiss-asses have started their rage campaign and have begun to smear Dr. Blasey Ford with "LIAR" and the scarlet letters of the endless list of expletives used on those who dare come forward with sexual misconduct allegations.

BK had his cronies drum up a letter signed by 65 female classmates who declared the teenager they knew surely could not rape (only two, when asked by Politico, said they would stand by their praises).

Two hundred women have since signed a letter stating Dr. Blasey Ford's description of what occurred matches what they have experienced at their alma mater.

I mean, she passed a polygraph and all...

And, in the midst of it all, the President of the United States and White House staffers have dismissed her story and called her a liar.

The President.

Let's be clear here -

The false reporting of sexual assault sits somewhere in the 5-8 percent range; comparable to that of other crimes.

So, sit your ass down before you get on with the, "Women accuse men to ruin their lives and lie about rape all the time!"

Ronnie down the road has the same probability of falsely accusing Willis of robbing his chainsaw.

This isn't about all men being rapists, all allegations being true, or all of us angry witches stirring our cauldrons to try and ruin the lives of anything with a penis because we hate men.

It is rather about asking the important questions -

Why are we still at the point where it is the victim who has mustered up the courage to come forward who has to bear the brunt of an attack on her body?

How does the administration of a world superpower choose to believe a man who attempted to rape, and push to put him in a position of power to have autonomy over the bodies of approximately 150 million women?

How are we living in an age when the long fought battle, and subsequent victory of Roe v Wade is in jeopardy at the very hands of an attempted rapist, while the bigger focus is on his victim?


She didn't. She tried to raise alarms when his name was on the short list, contacting the Washington Post.

Maybe her courage bubbled to the surface at just this point because she could not bear to see the autonomy of millions of women - their reproductive health and lives - put in the hands of a man who assaulted, degraded and destroyed her.

Maybe she had just had enough.

But, maybe she is lying, right? Maybe she summoned her witchy powers and took her evil vagina time machine back to 2012 and planted those notes with her therapist.

We are all liars, after all, if we do not run and report our assaults and rapes immediately on the second.


We are embarrassed.
And we are just not believed.

So, park your criticisms for once and believe women (yes, before that person jumps in - men get assaulted too, we know, but that's not the topic here. Come back for another episode).

My timeline this week has been a mix of Kavanaugh, coupled with the ex-CBC radio host/serial assaulter peeking his mug out of his hole again. Oh, and how about coaches who are now being nailed with decades and decades of their vile acts by women who are now coming forward and drawing strength from each other to face their abuser?

I will never understand why we keep giving abusers platforms while attacking and re-victimizing those who dare use their voice to name their abusers.

Just stop it.

Take a minute, wonder if any woman wants her name and reputation dragged through the mud of every social media outlet, attacked and re-victimized, forced to re-live the worst moments of her life. Why would she choose to step forward knowing the repercussions?

I have seen many ask the critics - "What if she was your wife/mother/daughter?"

Yet, this question should not matter. You all have women in your lives. Dr. Christine Blasey Ford shared an experience that is far too familiar to many of us.

And many of us have never breathed a word, never taken our abusers to task, never seen them brought to justice.

I believe her.

We need to stop demonizing the women who speak and we need to channel that energy in to ensuring those accused are investigated thoroughly, and brought to justice.

Oh, and stop with the "boys will be boys" bullshit, and trying to use the fact that he was 17 to water down the severity of the act.

That old adage is the exact reason why so many women do not come forward for decades - we are led to believe this is the norm and we must accept that some boys just cannot control their urges.

Maybe our skirts were too short.
Their hormones were raging and we grew boobies.
That shirt was a liiiiiiiiittle tight.

We question ourselves or try to push it all away.

When I was 17 I was no angel, but sneaking a flask behind the Chain Locker was a hell of a lot better than turning up the music to muffle someone's screams while violating them.

Funny, I drank it with a lot of guys as well, and none of them ever attempted to rape me with the music up.

Do I believe people cannot be rehabilitated? No. I do, however, believe that admittance and owning an action is a key step to healing for all involved.

Denial and painting the victim as a liar, or further victimizing her, are not good moves. Apologize, better yourself, seek the treatment and support you need - let everyone heal. BUT OWN IT.

Let us make sure abusers know their actions will not be condoned and there is no statute of limitations on how long before your actions will demand answers or bite you in the ass.

And let's fight like hell to make sure Kavanaugh crawls back into his hole and never gets to hold the bodily autonomy of millions of our sisters to the south in his hands.

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