Tuesday, February 20, 2018


Okay, hive, it's time to have a chat. I'll keep this to the point. I'm writing too many blog posts about how to be a decent human being this week and, frankly, it's getting on my nerves.

Today, NTV's Heather Gillis sat in court while the asshat who yelled "FHRITP" (that's "fuck her right in the pussy," for those of you who are unaware of the acronym. It originated when two other asshats started a Youtube trend a while ago, apparently. I won't be going to look for the original any time soon).

Heather was interviewing mayor Danny Breen down by good ol' Robin Hood Bay, doing her job, in her workplace, when Justin Penton (OMG SHE USED HIS NAME IT'S A WITCH HUNT...crawl up my hole) stuck his head out of the window of his carpet toting pickup and thought he was being hilarious.

Grow up, b'y.

Today it was deemed this was not a criminal offence. Best kind, Judge, Your Honour. I'm no student of the law, but it seems like the law has not been making friends these days.

Whether or not you agree with me that Justin Penton should be tied in the back yard and shot with a ball of his own shit, think for a minute about your workplace - and your right to feeling comfortable, safe, and to not have to deal with someone making a comment that is both sexually explicit and affects your ability to do your job. This is a job that you have worked hard to get, and work hard every day to do to the best of your ability.


This is enough. I've heard the comments, too. This week I've found myself spitting nails and wanting to burn things (now, before someone jumps on me for being a potential arsonist, I do not mean it literally).

"Take a joke."
"He didn't mean it."
"Lighten up."
"If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen."

What a steaming pile all of that is.

Just this week, as I was sitting in a meeting that was my work place, a man who was not a coworker slid into the seat next to me and whispered:

"I'm some glad I don't work in the office with you."
"Because you would be saying, 'Me too.'"

Now, if you are still residing under the rock that shrouded you from FHRITP, you likely still know the "me too" movement. Me too exposed the massive epidemic of sexual assault. Thousands of strong, powerful women - your mothers, sisters, neighbours, daughters - came forward with stories and their experiences, their lifetimes of sexual assault, or simply used the hashtag to indicate that they, too, had been a victim.

In my workplace, a professional meeting, he felt it was appropriate to crack a joke that insinuated if he worked in close vicinity to me he would sexually assault me.

Right on.

This is not okay.

I've been told there will be "bloodshed" in a meeting by a man who was spitting in my face, had a fist cocked in my face and called a "cunt" while explaining policy, been asked in a meeting if I was "there to cook dinner," and have had advances made to grab my crotch when I walk by to get a coffee. I have been told a man would "rather go to jail because it would be better than being put under conditions of not being able to see you in the office," and the list goes on.

Here is a newsflash: THIS IS NOT OKAY, B'YS. NOT. OKAY.

Heather Gillis, you, I, everyone who gets up and breathes the damn air in the morning, have a right to go to work, feel safe, do our jobs without wondering if the eyes leering at us are thinking about what they would do to us if alone. We should not have to wonder if they are about to say something that makes us feel like our worth in our workplace is based on our anatomy and looks. We deserve to continue through our days feeling accomplished, not violated.

The misogyny, violence, and just plain juvenile actions of men who, for whatever reason, feel a pump in their own masculinity by making us feel inferior and like sexual objects stops now.

For every person who hears the commentary, reads it, or sees it, and thinks, "It was harmless fun," or, "Take a joke," I guarantee you I can take a joke and make one with the best of them. I am resilient, as I know Heather Gillis is (she is one kickass woman and a damn good reporter). This is not about that.

It is about having respect for other human beings, treating them like humans and not sex toys or something for your viewing or fondling pleasure - and about not being a shitbag.

Grow up.
And if you cannot, keep your little boy commentary inside your own head and pants.

Our little girls, young women, and fellow adult women deserve to exist and live days without this type of bullshit, threats, violence, and the fear that makes us walk to our cars from our workplaces with keys placed strategically between our fingers. We're ready for your jugular. Keep this crap and your pathetic complexes and misogyny out of our workplaces. Let us do our jobs and keep our workplaces safe.

Our little boys, young men, and adult men need to step up and be allies - say it is not okay. We know our allies are out there. We see you, raising your sons to be strong men who build women up and do not trivialize their existence down to something for sex and procreation. We know you're there.

Legal arguments aside, let us do our jobs; be decent people. There is enough going on in the world right now that makes this earth a scary place. The last thing anyone should do is contribute to the negativity and systemic violence in this cesspool we now live each day in.

I'm mad.
You should be, too.

A lot of us work in male dominated workplaces and it has been hard enough to claw our way to where we are, to be taken seriously. We spend every day having to unnecessarily prove ourselves and validate why we are there.

Get up and say this is unacceptable.

I'm sick of it.

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