Tomorrow I head home to my cove. I've never been one to turn off, take vacation, reset, unplug. I've decided to do it this time and I cannot wait.
I'm not ready for Christmas this year. Like so much, it has come at me fast and I'm not ready. I'm just going to let it happen and try to get through. It's all I can do, really.
Up goes the armour. Deflect! Deflect! Deflect!
Christmas is a hard time of year for a lot of folks. Over the past week I've seen some important posts from friends, read about loss, mental health, struggle and pain. And Christmas seems to amplify all of that with a thousand swords.
I get it. It's a brutal time of year with the pressure for perfection. Picture perfect. Everyone is perfect on here, eh? Funny, that.
It's been a long couple of months. A lot of changes, a lot of new, and lot of different. I still can't say I understand it all or know where everything is going but these past few weeks have been especially different and new.
The old adage of the world working in mysterious ways is far too real now. There are often things that come at your like a freight train that you could have never predicted but would not change for anything in the world, no matter how difficult or challenging.
Sometimes those things come at you hard at vulnerable times but make you realize you're ready to fight for something and be stronger than you thought you were.
And there's promise. Promise in those wonderful things. So much to look forward to and I know it will all work out, even though it might seem like the universe is throwing everything for a loop and tossing in every wrench it can.
Maybe I'm being too positive and hopeful.
Maybe I'm watching too much Nashville and getting caught up in storylines of what haves and what could bes and devotion.
I don't know.
All I know is I'm going to get through Christmas.
I'm going to get through new years.
And 2018 holds promise that 2017 has only sparked.
It's going to be good and I know it.
This is it.
"Turn the light off, go to bed
Tell me all about the day you had
Lay beside me, it's time to rest
You can close your eyes, you've done your best
Let me be your sanctuary
Let me be your safe place to fall
I can take away your worries
The refuge from it all
All this time
We have together
Is our shelter from the rain
I will share the weight you carry
Let me be your sanctuary."